Living with hair loss is difficult. So difficult. Conceptually imagining that it was a possibility was a complete improbability for me for many years and I understand it takes so much out of us. There also can be this external pressure to feel like we need to be something or somewhere other than where we are. Which honestly, makes everything much more difficult.
I received this comment on my video, “It’s OK To Not Be OK About Your Hair Loss” and I wanted to share my thoughts on dealing with hair loss, deciding to treat it or not, wearing wigs or not and really just allowing yourself to be true to yourself and not feeling pressure to feel anything other than what you FEEL.
She wrote: I feel the pressure to be positive for everyone else all the time about this hair loss. I don’t see a day coming that I can accept this …but I’m trying. One moment to the next. Thank you for validating our feelings. Only someone else living with this can truly understand.
We need to remove any pressure we are putting on ourselves to be happy or positive for ANYONE else about OUR hair loss. You do not need to be happy about a devastating situation to make someone else more comfortable in their world. I understand the pressure to feel that way, but I want to let you and everyone else know, this doesn’t help us deal with with one of the most devastating afflictions to women.
Hair loss is largely minimized and marginalized by society for both men and women, and the reality is the emotional implications it takes on our mental health are so severe. It is not a vanity thing, losing our hair can feel like losing a limb, losing our identity, at least that is how I felt.
So please never feel like you need to make anyone else feel better about your hair loss, or feel the need to try and be positive and happy for them while you are suffering. That pushes our feeling down and at that point, we are minimizing those very valid and real feelings for ourselves. Nothing good comes from that, healing definitely doesn’t come from that.
You don’t need to justify what you choose to do or do not do for your hair loss. I don’t need anyones permission to feel whole and you don’t either.
I made a video sharing my thoughts and going on some tangents, but I hope I did get some of this across in the YouTube video I shot.
Please share your thoughts and comments, would love to hear from you.
Also, if you want to see more content I’ve shared this past year (posts and videos) you can find me on Instagram @whlpnetwork – I do have some IGTV videos and posts I did just put only on there.
Much Love To All!
XOXO
~Y
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Hello,
I’m new to this site. Just wondering…if you are wearing a wig , It looks wonderful on you and so natural. How do you get hairline to look so natural? I lost 60 to 70% of my hair 7 years ago due to in-office LLLT, too much time under laser hood each visit for 6 months. Most of my side hair is gone, front has receded and very thin and super fine all over. I’ve contemplated wearing a wig, but a huge step for me. Past 3 years I’ve used Rogaine 5%, Finasteride, Nioxin shampoo and occasional ketokonazole shampoo. PRP did nothing!
Do you wear your wig daily? Any issues with your scalp? Further hair loss due to the wig? Thank you, Nancy
Hi,
Your words are so helpful. It is so nice to know that if you can get through hairloss and be ok maybe I CAN, too. Right now I am having such a hard time accepting my hairloss. I was diagnosed with Androgenic Alopecia four years ago and it seems like a lifetime. I have watched my hair get thinner and thinner especially March to April 2021. I did every treatment available to me and they did not work for me. It just seems so hopeless that I will ever be happy again, but I know you are doing a lot of things I thought I cannot do. Thank you for your words of encouragement! I will continue to read your encouraging words and hope that someday I can be like you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
So I just wanted to comment that it’s important to find the RIGHT wig if that’s the path you’re going down.
I’ve been wearing hair about seven years now. I’ve always worn human hair, but lace fronts irritated me terribly and that left me with very little options. So year after year, as I can only afford one wig per year, I’d resentfully get the only non lace front I could afford. I could never get it to fit right, it would start showing it’s age right away, it was so HEAVY, and HOT, and just all around miserable. But I felt stuck – resentful because we couldn’t afford anything better (my daughter is disabled and I stay home to care for her, so we’ve been on one income for 18 years.)
As luck would have it my gal at the wig store introduced me to another new brand they have been carrying, called an Iwig. It did have a lace front, but they’re made of a different sort of material she thought I might tolerate. Someone had ordered one then decided they didn’t want it, so I wore it home for the weekend, and OMG. She gave it to me for half price, which coincided with my refund check, and Holy Balls I’m in Heaven.
I can now absolutely say I’m an enthusiastic wig wearer! This piece is my glass slipper, and there’s no going back to 99 cent flip flops now.
The moral of the story is that if I hadn’t taken the chance and leapt out of my comfort zone, I’d still be miserable. Hoping this will help someone who just hasn’t met the right brand/style/color/cap yet. It’s out there!