The Rest Is Still Unwritten… Natasha Bedingfield. I never forget those words, that song. but really those words, because it’s so true, we get to decide, we get a vote in this, even amongst all the heartache, the loss…we get choices.
Many times we feel helpless, powerless, I know I have MANY times for different reasons, and it would take time to figure out my way, different ways, adjusting ALONG the way to learning to successfully live with hair loss without feeling like I was its prisoner, its hostage. I was held captive for over a decade and once I got a taste of freedom I just never wanted to return to the way I lived before. That’s a terrifying thought. I have 25 years of hair loss. Female pattern baldness began at 21, and I got an inflammatory alopecia in 2022, at the age of 44. Lightening really does strike twice, yet I buy lotto tickets and never show up a winner there, but I’m a 2x winner of hair loss.
Hair loss has continued to surprise me over the years, in new and unexpected ways. In acceptance I’ve had the highest highs, but not without some lows. Maybe the lows exist to allow us to appreciate the higher moments. Sometimes people write and say “Please tell me it gets better” It does. It really does. I never thought I could live the life I have, WITH hair loss, after finding a way to make it work at 34, which began after I started wearing wigs, and learning I could have some control in how I got to portray myself to myself and to the world, I could make this work, it wouldn’t be perfect, but doable.
Hair loss is so complex I think sometimes people are surprised to hear me admit “I’m not OVER my hair loss” I think it’s much cooler and hip to say you are, but the reality is I move mountains to make hair loss work in my life, I didn’t simply shave my head (which I did May 2023 due to this 2nd hair loss) and call it a day, snap two fingers to the side, brush off my shoulder and say well good ridden, yea no, but I accepted change, accepted I had to accept. You don’t have to be OVER something to find peace, and acceptance, and move through new phases of this journey to find new depths of self love that builds even more resilience, but sometimes you can get torn down before coming back stronger.
For 14 years I flew from Los Angeles to Florida every 4-5 months for PRP treatments, that began in 2009. It wasn’t a cure, it was just part of the process that made it work. I began wearing wigs in 2012, so of course it wasn’t a cure, but it helped me to feel better in all of this. I stopped those treatments after my last treatment Jan 2023 because against this second hair loss it was not effective. That ended up being third non responsive failed treatment, with 2 fails in 2022, I just could no longer justify the effort and cost, and I felt lower afterwards because the trips were tiring, and now no longer providing anything.
I’ll never be someone that says my wigs are better than my bio hair, and I’m still adjusting to my new reality of needing to have a shaved head to live with my hair loss now… 25 years in and after getting a 2nd type of hair loss. We make the changes we need, with the strongest points being willingness, flexibility, and mindset, or for most, including myself, this will swallow us whole. I know, I lived it for over a decade. I lived like there was no tomorrow, all I saw was darkness, sadness, pain and depression, and in my mind there was no point to anything if all my hair couldn’t return to exactly they way it was before, and that was never going to be a thing, so I lived in constant pain. I didn’t realize it at the time but I set myself up for failure with that mentality.
Presently I work on adjusting to my new reflection, adjusting to a new type of wig, working with new wig vendors to help me in this process during this next phase of my hair loss life, ADJUSTING to this new phase of my hair loss life. I have appreciation and gratitude I am even reach this place, and so much appreciation for all the places I reached before, because at 21 years old I never thought that possible. I turned 46 in April, and I know SO much is possible. In this process we just need to keep moving forward and realize, in this journey, the rest is still unwritten and we get to write that for ourselves.
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