So Sorry That I Took My Hair For Granted – Amber’s Hair Loss Story

Hello Everyone. I am so happy to know that I am not alone in my hair loss devastation. I am a 28 year old mother of four. I’ve been experiencing heavy hair loss and extreme changes in the texture of my hair since the pregnancy with my daughter 5 years ago. Much to my dismay, my doctors were telling me that I was pulling my hair back too often or that my hormones just needed to get back to normal or that the straightening process I had done had caused the loss. So for five years I have watched my very thick, very curly hair become thin and straight thinking that one day it would magically reappear. It was two weeks ago that I had a scalp biopsy and was diagnosed with andogenetic alopecia. To boot, I am losing it from all over my head, not just the top. My dermatologist is pretty cruel and just chuckled and said “There’s nothing you can really do. Use Rogaine.” I am devastated. My daughter has hair just like mine used to be and I’m actually jealous of her. I’m debating whether to have the fifth child that my husband and I wanted but I don’t want to spark any excess shedding episodes. I have started Rogaine as it is the only FDA approved medication for women but I am feeling very lightheaded and somewhat dizzy so I’ll probably have to stop. I realize like many of you that this has quickly become an obsession. I know that I am not my hair. But let me tell you, after four children, my body is beat. My hair is the only attribute I have left and I’m losing that now too. I’m at an incredible loss. I can’t imagine what it will look like when I’m 40. Please give me any feedback you can and I hope this post helps someone feel not so alone as this site has helped me tremendously.
Thank you,
Amber

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Dear Amber,

You are not alone in your feelings and struggles. I wish I knew why most doctors are so insensitive and callus toward the women who seek out help for their hair loss. I can’t explain why they do it, but it is an unfortunate very common occurrence. Was your dermatologist by any chance a man? They seem to be the least understanding.Just like the birth control pills can somethings kick in the onset of androgenetic alopecia early so can the hormone shift of having children, sometimes there is just no rhyme or reason, but undoubtedly we are never prepared. There are other “treatments” used to treat women’s hair loss such as low androgen index birth control pills and aldactone (spironolactone). All hair loss treatments carry the risk of possibly igniting some extra shedding at first. It’s the whole, “has to get worse better it gets better type thing.” It’s all a very personal decision what a woman chooses to use to treat herself, and she has to fully understand the postives vs. the negatives. Hopefully in time there will be more studies done to figure out what exactly causes women’s hair loss and then with any luck a real solution for women’s hair loss will follow.You mentioned your hair loss is all over which is really very common in female pattern hair loss. Odd terminology for it since there is no actual “pattern” but an overall thinning of the hair. Which is exactly my situation with a more pronounced temporal thinning on both sides. I know you worry about where you’ll be when you are 40. I do too. Actually my hair loss started at 21 and I remember worrying about where I would be at 30. Well I turn 30 this year. I can’t say I’m happy with the extremely thin hair I have, but I make do and get by, although it can be tough at times to accept my new image. But while female pattern hair loss is progressive it usually occurs fairly slowly over time. It’s a process that doesn’t happen overnight and you may find that when you are 40 your hair isn’t all that much thinner than it is today.Hair envy… you mentioned being jealous of your daughters hair. I know the feeling. I don’t have any kids but I see little girls running around sometimes that have the exact thick long manes I used to up until age 21. I actually wrote a post not too long ago titled “Hair Loss Can Quickly Become An Obsession” and in it I wrote “You know you are in trouble when you start envying your dog’s hair.” Yup I’ve starred at my dog’s hair thinking to myself how lucky he was. He doesn’t even care he has it, he’d probably trade it for a bone 🙂 (you can see my doggy in the album on my network profile)The title of your story “So Sorry I Took My Hair For Granted” is something we’ve all felt. I know I never appreciated the hair I had, it was just there. But we can’t torture ourselves about the past, we can only look toward the future. You have 4 beautiful kids, a husband and you are young with your whole life ahead of you! I try to be grateful and appreciate all I have today and to not make the mistake of taking anything for granted again. This is it, this is our life. Not exactly the hand I wanted to be dealt, but the one that was dealt for me. I’m going to do the very best can I with it, and not fold, not give into the depression demons that creeps in from time to time.You are anything but alone and I thank you for sharing your story Each woman that writes in is helping another woman by letting them know they are not alone in this, our experiences and feelings are all similar to one another. We want to feel whole again.~Y