When I was 23, my outlook on life was colored dramatically by my hair loss “situation.” It all seemed rather bleak, lots of doom and gloom. My coping skills dramatically improved over the years, and I have moved on from praying every single hair would grow back, to just praying for the strength to deal with the hand I’ve been dealt, but that was indeed, a hard road for me to travel.
The other day I was reading through profiles on the network and stumbled across the “About Me” of a 23 year old woman. I was so moved by what a I had read, I emailed her and asked her permission to re-post it here.
On her profile she had written the following:
“I am honest with myself. Yes, I do have hair loss. I talk about it with people instead of ignoring it. The hair loss is there and it’s not going to go away just because I’m wishing or praying. I will be open about it when I meet someone. To some people talking about someone else’s hair loss is like talking about cancer. It shouldn’t be like that. That is why I am open and honest with people. Yes, I have hair loss. Yes, this is who I am. I might be bald by the end of the year but that’s okay. I’ll cry about it, pick myself up off the floor and keep going. Don’t hope and pray for hair. Hope that one day you can love yourself no matter what you look like.“
As I re-read that I actually find myself tearing up. So much truth, honestly, self love and acceptance. On the days I find myself feeling low, I think I will remember that, “Don’t hope and pray for hair. Hope that one day you can love yourself no matter what you look like.”
I am someone that can certainly attest to the fact that way too much time is lost mourning our hair. I nearly lost a decade of life with my face shoved into a pillow, constantly asking, “Why?” Well I’m here to tell you I don’t have an answer. I’ve done my best to walk a straight line, be a caring person, a good friend, help others, assist homeless animals, and eat my vegetables 🙂 I didn’t “DO” anything wrong, this isn’t some type of morbid punishment from God. It just is. Period. Although I often reflect on that moment at the age of 5 when I told my mom her meatloaf tastes like cat food. Could that be it? I’m kidding obviously.
But I digress.
Be kind to yourself and don’t beat yourself up over your hair loss. Perhaps your time experiencing hair loss will be short lived (hopefully), or perhaps it will be a bit of a longer journey (like myself), either way it’s best to start digging deep and pulling out the big guns of Love and Acceptance.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I love this note. This is one of those blogs one should print out and stuff in their pocket to have near them to read everyday.
I love the big guns haha love yes acceptance yes.
I hope I can take your advice. I had minor hair loss for a few years and it didn’t bother me much until recently when it has become noticable to those around me and people have started commenting on it. It’s really rough . . . . but thank you for helping me to know that this dificult part may eventually ease up.
@Charlie – Print it out girl! print it out! 🙂 I know you have those big guns.
@Melissa – I can honestly say it does get easier to deal with, we just adapt, we are so much stronger than we actually give ourselves credit for. I am still hoping me to be totally “Free” one day. But I think right now, I’m in a pretty decent place. Why is our identity so tied to are hair? It really shouldn’t be that way, and I think it only is, when we allow it to be. In the words of Oprah Winfrey, “Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” When I’m wasting my day on self pity, I try and remind myself that tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us. How horrible should I leave this earth tomorrow and my last days where are self pity, and tears for something I simply cannot control. To the best of my ability I try and work on what I CAN do, and what I CAN be. The rest I guess I have to let go.
xoxo
xoxo
I love this post as well. It’s so true. Thanks for sharing.
You know…this lovely lady could of not said it any better…I spent those countless years as well…then, I finally got to acceptance…and boy…when you DECIDE that you are not going to let hairloss…or anything that is out of your control for that matter…control you…it is the most amazing and freeing feeling. That is not to say that I don’t have my days…C’mon…whether we have hairloss or not we find something else to worry or stew about…lol…However…when those days come about…again…I DECIDE how I am going to let it affect me. Unfortunately it is all about choice…easy or tough…that is what it is and once you can make that decision for once and for all and come to acceptance…is when the really truly beautiful things start happening for you and your soul. I could not attest to her About Me anymore as it is totally and completely 100% true!
Thank you very much for sharing this
i am actually suffering from this problem….. i don’t like to look at myself
I tried everything you can imagine and I’m only 21
i thought i was the only girl with this problem
I wish i could one day learn to love myself like you
:((((
I’m 25 and have been suffering from hairloss since i was 18, a few months after my mum died. This past yar it has got worse and i spend days constantly obsessing about it. Some days I feel like I don’t want to face the world and I feel I should break up with my boyfriend so he doesn’t have to have a bald girlfriend. So thank you for re posting this, it made me smile and I hope I get to feeling like that at some point.
I have only just found this site so not sure how it works but if anyone could offer me any advice then i’d appreciate it. It’s good to know i’m not alone.
m facing d same since few months n itz miserable at times d emotional setback u face but v hav no option but to learn n live wit it n find solutions instead of wasting a lot of time ovr tears d idea of wearing a wig taks time for ur brain to accept but thaz d only option i hav nw n wit chances of me getn pregnant soon hopefully i knw id b losing hair faster aft tht
Don’t know how I found this site but the quoted input by Oprah opened a tiny door. Just an older woman who is taking blood pressure pills and hair thinning is now a side effect. And, what’s worse, with all the medical expertise in this world, there is no one who knows how to help. Why? Because no one has the answer and the professionals are too busy to invest a touch of their time to honestly try to find a solution. Besides being a victim of this disease, you are helpless trying to find a solution since even the doctors don’t know what to recommend. This is the most distressing thing I have ever had to cope with in all my life–and, I have been there, believe me–this is not easily accepted nor tolerated.
I’ve just had a middle of the night weep about my beautiful 15 yr old daughter’s alopecia areata. I keep getting up for a tissue – should really just move the box next to me. Anyhow, I love this site. Kind of sums up my experience – frustration that the doctors can’t do anything; horror when I see another bald patch on my daughter’s head; extreme sadness that I can’t make it go away; the worry that all that people will see is her bald patches.
But the most important thing is what you say about time being precious, love and acceptance – I’ve had my weep now. Time to move back into that zone – daughter is still utterly wonderful and actually coping very well. It is shit, as she says, but she is still getting on with life and we do laugh about it – being able to scare people with her bald patches, saying well at least I don’t have thick ankles, or parents that beat me every day (just on Sundays 🙂
We’re not ignoring it – still seeing docs every so often, keeping an eye on scarves and wigs and all that jazz , I’ve had a couple of friends who’ve said they know adolescents who had the same thing but it spontaneously cleared up, so who knows – but what happens, happens, life is precious, there’s dreams to chase and lovely stuff every day if you just look out for it. Big love and acceptance to us all.