My mom made a comment to me earlier today that it seems that nowadays everywhere she looks she sees people losing their hair. She says it’s much more prevalent nowadays than when she was growing up. Well, I have a different take on that. First, let me go off on a tangent and say that my mom is also experiencing hair loss, hers started after menopause. I only wish I was that lucky to have made it past 50. I would seal that deal today if you told me I could enjoy the next twenty one years of my life with a full head of hair and then at the stroke of midnight on my 50th birthday all my hair would fall out. I realize it’s devastating at any age, whether you are in your twenties, thirties, forties, fifties and beyond, but I feel its harder when you are in what is suppose to be the “prime of your life” and instead you spend your days locked away in your house because you feel ashamed of how you look.
Anyways, back to what I started to talk about regarding my mom’s beliefs that nowadays hair loss is more prevalent in women than back in “her time” as she puts it. I think that is partially true. I do think that the rise in popularity and acceptance for young girls taking birth control pills has certainly increased and contributed to the large volumes of young women losing their hair. But, I don’t think it is that alone, like anything else in life, you pay most attention to what you are most preoccupied with. I remember once being at the nail salon getting a pedicure and the women next to me commented that I had nice feet. I replied with a thank you and let her know that I never really ever paid attention to anyone’s feet. Her reply was, “that’s because you have nice ones.”Well that is how I feel about hair loss. I think I see it everywhere now because I am so submerged into it and that’s why I think my mom has thoughts that “there must be something in the water.” We focus and look for what we lack, what we miss having and what we desire.
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the “prime of your life” and instead you spend your days locked away in your house because you feel ashamed of how you look. –
It’s comments like this that ignite my soul and then the tears begin streaming down my face…I couldn’t believe that I could relate to a stranger about the same topic.
I always felt ashamed of how I looked…I felt like a guy with my conspicuous horseshoe pattern gleaming for the world to see.
I FELT ASHAMED- It sounds so powerful, yet so unnecessary at the same time. Why do we feel guilty? As if the power of beauty was in our control…as if we played a hand in our hair loss…I know I didn’t, it just happened…maybe it was the drugs, maybe it was the malnourishment from being depressed and ashamed of my hair loss. After 10 years of suffering, you realize…there’s no shame in who you are, physically. Period.
Definition:
shame n
1. a negative emotion that combines feelings of dishonor, unworthiness, and embarrassment–WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE!
2. the capacity or tendency to feel shame
3. a state of disgrace or dishonor
4. a cause for regret or disappointment.
Feelings of unworthiness- We are worth so much more than a couple hundred thousand strands on our shiny heads…WE have so much to offer…so much! We are kind, generous, helpful, beautiful, caring, supportive, loving…we just have to look at other aspects of ourselves that were dormant, that we neglected.
I felt ashamed because I thought it was my fault. I was embarrassed because I acted embarrassed, now if I made the choice to own my hair loss and be strong about it, then people would see that….It’s still me.