I recently had a conversation I hadn’t had in quite sometime, where I tried to explain to a friend about why hair loss affected/affects me, why it’s not just a nothing issue, even if you can throw on hair and wear a wig, ultimately why it impacts women so much.
I made this video to discuss this topic, but also to open the topic up for dicussion to others, to share how it affected/affects you and how you are dealing and have dealt with it.
I started to loose my hair in 1999, and began the process of acceptance after starting to wear hair in 2012. That’s a long time to sit in the pits of depression, despair and helplessness and watching myself evaporate before my very eyes. So clearly, hair loss matters. It’s a big deal, and so often it’s hard to get our friends and family to truly understand that this is ripping us apart, tearing us to pieces and leaving us simply a former shell of ourselves.
I am speaking for myself of course, but I have interacted with enough women to know this has not only been my experience/reality/truth, but others as well.
I hope to create a healthy dialogue of sharing with each other that can not only help us relate, but also help those that don’t understand, perhaps understand US, a little bit more.
The silver lining at the end of my tunnel, is that hair loss is no longer my master, my controller or my destroyer. I took back control. I only wish I had been able to do it sooner and not lost so many years of my life. I am always hoping that I can help just one other woman suffer a bit less than I ever did, and to know that hope exists.
The video is long, so if you can made it through the whole thing, congrats! LOL
Much Love To All
XOXO
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Losing your hair when you are a woman, is truly a state of emotional turmoil. I didn’t lose all of mine and still it became my entire focus. I was depressed. I became more depressed when I saw I couldn’t afford a wig. I know a woman that is bald on top but has hair below and she can’t afford a wig either. Cancer patients are helped with wigs but not for other diagnosed conditions such as autoimmune thyroid disorders. But even with a wig, losing your hair is a BIG deal. I panic every time I wash my hair and pull gobs of hair that goes into the trash.
Hello everybody!
Well, after 7 years, my process now is acceptance. The PCOS and anxiety don’t let my hair be as it used to be before. Buying a wig is the next step, although it still hurts and not going to the beach (that I love SO much), afraid of people staring at me with my wet remaining hair.
Thanks for all support!
Thanks for another great post and video! Keep sharing your message – it is so important. I love what you said about it being harder for people on day 2 of their hair loss journey than for someone a bit further along, because the journey of acceptance has not yet begun and I totally agree.
In terms of the conversation about how hair loss has impacted my life – wow – this is so just so big. The hours spent obsessing about hairstyles, the tears shed in the shower, the late nights hunched over a computer researching (not to mention work time) what the problem / solution might be, the tension / stress / negativity that has plagued my life, not wanting to meet friends, not daring to interview for a better job and take a public role where I might have to stand under a spotlight at some stage, avoiding going to the hairdresser for fear of being exposed in public…. Hours, days, months, years of worry and sadness. And hardly anyone who has not experienced understands. That is why YOU are so important. You let us know that we are ok, and are still worth loving despite our hair loss. You show us that we can take control of our lives and don’t have to let hair loss completely subsume us. You show us that we have options, and however we choose to deal with it is ok. You show us how to be strong. I have been taking small steps and am getting there 🙂 xox
Is that a wig you are wearing in this video? Looks so real! Can you share where to find?
I have dealt with hairless for YEARS… and had same emotions as you did. It affected me on SO many levels… social, emotional, career, etc.
After finally accepting hairloss by not letting it control me anymore and just wearing hair (thank you Follea!!), I am happier now than I was during my stages of hair loss. I would rather have amazing Follea hair than crappy bio hair that was shedding no matter what I did.
Thank you for all you do. You were instrumental in giving me the strength to reach out and take my life back!
Thank you for being there for all of us.
Your site was the first I came upon when I started my hairloss journey five years ago. I knew there were other women with hairloss as I had seen many of them in baseball caps etc. even knowing it’s not just you going through this you still feel alone and helpless. I spent hours on the internet and only came to terms with it (somewhat) after following you and all the wonderful women doing their wig reviews and tips and tricks. Thank you again for helping me get my sanity back.
I have a question. With daily wear how long do your files wigs last?
Follea, correction.
Thank you for this message. I have missed seeing posts and encougement from you. I wish that I could get passed the fear of “what will people think of me ” “will I be an embarrassment to my family” “why is my hair falling out” so many demons in my head these days. I want so badly to get to a place of acceptance. Some days I feel brave and other days I feel defeated. I spend way to much time researching hairloss instead of living a life I know I am supposed to be living. So thank you for this message that it took you a while to accept it and love yourself. That gives me hope. Hope keeps me living. Thanks again.
Where to start….. it is such a big deal for a woman to lose their hair. I have been dealing with it for over 20 years. I have been to so many doctors and “specialist” and even had a hair transplant (unsuccessfully). I have spent thousands of dollars to find a cure and nothing works. I still have some hair on my head so I am able to go out but only with a wide headband on or with a baseball cap. For the most part I kept my hair loss to myself and tried to hide it as best of possible using toppik and even eye shadow to fill in the ever increasing scalp you could see on my head. I spent countless hours crying and researching about hair loss. This website is a God send and has helped me so much. It is an isolating experience for me and I didn’t really want to go out and be around people for a long time. At work, I would try to not sit under the brightest light, and when I had to speak in front of a group the only think I could think of was are they looking at my head. How pathetic but true, I felt like everyone was always looking at my scalp. I finally started wearing hair in 2013 but even now with hair I am self-conscious of people knowing I have a wig on. My husband is a wonderful man and has always been supportive and through the years I began sharing this with a few select family members and friends, but to this day not everyone knows and it still is so hard for me to talk about without crying. I wish I could be courageous enough to share my hair loss with everyone…. but not yet. It is a journey! I am getting better. Hopefully with time I will get more comfortable in my own skin. And who knows, maybe one day it will be cool to be a bald woman! It is comforting to know there are more of us out there and we are not alone. Be strong and carry on!! Love and blessings to all of you.
I am so much happier now that I just accepted my hairloss and got supplemental hair (right now that’s a clip in synthetic hair piece (my first) that cost $250 and has already lasted a year). I am so used to it now it’s second nature. I don’t know if its “fooling” anyone or not but I don’t even care anymore – I thing it looks way better than my crappy bio-hair ever did & I feel great and that’s all that matters. My advice: be brave, go for it, have fun and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks!