Wishing everyone a super fabulous, beautiful, wonderful Happy Thanksgiving!
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Sometimes it takes a while to realize that what we needed was there all along. I struggled for the past 6 months trying to figure out how to exercise in a wig. Many women do it, but it was a mental barrier I struggled with and ultimately, my solution is to not wear a wig to work out and to realize I can be okay, just being as I am without the security of my wig during times it is holding me back, rather than helping me move forward.
I wrote to a friend earlier today, that hair loss is a journey, wearing hair is a journey, and accepting oneself as is, and for all that entails, is the hardest journey of all. And then I thought, oh snap, there it is… acceptance on ALL levels. Accepting that wearing wigs isn’t going to be absolutely perfect, but pretty darn awesome, accepting that for me I can’t wear a wig to workout and I’m just going to put on a hat or headband and be okay with it. Accepting that this IS my life, this is my path for better or worse. I vote Better!
XOXO
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Hi Everyone — Just a little update! Sorry for my delayed replies, I’m playing catch up from last week, where I basically checked out and now have a pile of stuff to do. XOXO
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A reminder for you, and a reminder for me….
Last week was REALLY tough on me, it was. Something like a crap haircut on my bio hair, completely knocked me on my behind. Hair loss hits us so deep, it affects us in ways sometimes we can’t even comprehend at times. It just is what it is. But I do want to tell you I’m FINALLY feeling better, I also think my hair grew a teeny tiny microscopic bit, and from this unfortunate incident, I will learn *something* and take that with me going forward.
I hope everyone is having a super fabulous day, my little dark cloud that was following me around last week has lifted 🙂
Love to All!
XOXO
A reminder for you, and a reminder for me 🙂
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So I got a haircut this past Monday that did not turn out the way I wanted at all. My hairstylist whom I’ve been using for years, sort of went on her own path and deviated from what I needed to have done. I keep beating myself up for letting this happen, I should not have trusted that she would do what I needed and I should have paid closer attention. I really have only myself to blame. Lesson learned. Now I’m having to try and figure out how to get by not using my hairline with my wigs, something I’m not familiar with at all since I’ve always used my hairline (ear to ear) when wearing all my girls. *Letting out big BIG sigh* So this is my jacked up hair cut video update.
For some reason in the video at the part line front section it appears dark, it doesn’t appear that way in person, not sure how the lighting in my office was hitting it, but just know that isn’t what it looks like in person, it’s pretty natural. Didn’t want you guys thinking I was wondering around in the world with a dark spot in my front hairline. LOL
This has been a hard week on me because of this, it was rather devastating to have something like this taken from me, something I technically have control over and now feeling like I have to wait months and months for my hairline to get back to a usable length is driving me nuts, absolutely nuts. I could have cared less if she shaved circles into the top or back, I just wanted my hairline kept long. That’s it, my only one real requirement for the cut. I suppose after my hairline grows back I’ll look at this as an “experience” and know that even if all my hair falls out, I’ll still be able to work the wigs. So I guess there is a positive here.. somewhere, somewhere, somewhere in here. Have you found it yet? Don’t mind me, you’ll find me at the bottom of a bottle tonight 🙂
Love & Hugs To All!
XOXO
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I received this email from an amazing gal named Joanne, and I asked her if I could post it for all of you. I have always felt that it is so healing and helpful to hear the words of another going through the same thing we all have been going through. To relate, to understand, to learn… anyway you slice it or dice, sharing is healing.
Here is Joanne’s Email
I’ve stepped into a little bit of heaven finding you and this website. I commented to you on Facebook, that you are an amazing and beautiful woman and I wished you lived next door to me! Ha, ha. Yeah, how nice it would be to commiserate and get a Starbucks with someone who understands. It’s so easy to feel isolated with this hair loss crappy lot in life, but your website has opened a door for all of us closet sufferers. I thank you for that, from my heart, along with all the rest of the women on your blog.
Ok, here’s my story: I once had pretty, silky, blonde hilited hair. I once felt pretty. I once liked being in pictures with my two blonde sisters. Then, After being diagnosed with autoimmune disease – I noticed my hair shedding beginning. The drain in the shower, the drain in the sink while blow-drying, my hairbrush… What the heck was happening? I talked to every medical person I could find, a Rheumatologist, a Naturopath, my regular MD, a Dermatologist, my Hairdresser, anyone who might know the answer. I wanted someone to save my hair for me. PLEASE! I so desperately wanted a “diagnosis” that could be corrected by just taking something or doing something. My thyroid levels were normal, my blood work, normal, except for my abnormal ANA, but I was told that alone, shouldn’t be the cause. Biopsy of my scalp, normal. Everyone had an idea, of what to try, but none of them worked.
No matter, my hair kept shedding. I tried every holistic and dietary thing I could that held out even a vague promise. Some periods of shedding seemed to slow but then others were worse. It seemed there was no going back.. my hair would never rebound.
It was excruciating to see myself in the mirror and even more so to see myself next to my two sisters with their beautiful thick blonde hair. I felt like the ugly duckling sister and never wanted to take family pictures after that. Sometimes, my family would tell me I was being “silly”, oh really? Let’s switch heads for the picture then. I was told I was “still” pretty, get in the picture. I often thought, if they were me, they would NOT want to have their picture taken next to two thick blonde heads! Easy for them to say! My husband would tell me I was “pretty” too. My hair was “pretty”, I shouldn’t worry so much. They were all trying to be nice, trying to make me feel better, but they didn’t know how this was consuming me, ruining my life, making me refuse parties, events, anything where I couldn’t somehow hide my hair. [click to continue…]
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This is cross posted from my Facebook page, so if you follow me on Facebook this will be a double post for you 🙂
“Hi Hair, Yea — It’s Me… Remember Me? I carried you and loved you for 21 years, we were besties. And then just like that you decide to betray me, torment me for 13 years slowly falling out and leaving me helpless, hopeless, and withdrawn. You suck. You look look like crap, yea I said it. Crap. I’m done with you, I’m done crying over you, you’re not the only hair in town sweetheart oh no sir-eee. Maybe you’ve noticed I’ve been cutting you (quite literally) out of my life. I waited for you, I prayed for you, I fed my body medications to save you, and still you continued to do what you do… leave and fall to the floor, which often made me fall to floor. Well I guess you and me just weren’t meant to be. So I shall smoother you down each day with a crown of beautiful hair that quite frankly may be even prettier than you ever were. Oh yea, I went there. Anyways, just thought I’d like you know… we’re done.”
—-
At some point we HAVE to let go. We have to. I stopped myself from living and I hid from the world for over a decade, and when I did go out, I just wanted to run into a corner and cry. When forced to socialize I would put on my happy face and try to hide the pain I was feeling. It was a horrible way to live and I thought that would forever be my life. My greatest fear was waking up one day and I’d be 70 years old and I’d look back and realize I gave up my entire life for my hair, for mourning over it’s loss, that I would let it beat me down and rob me of living. That thought tormented me and haunted me as each year passed by and I stood idle, not making any positive changes towards actually moving on.
So I wear wigs now, SOOOO what! No one even cares, seriously. It’s only something I thought was a big deal, or built up in my mind to BE a big deal. Everyone I’ve told is like “Oh.. wow, looks good.. pass the salt” I should have chopped off my hair and worn wigs a long time ago!
Reclaim You. Do whatever that means you have to in your life, but reclaim you. Take back what’s rightfully yours… living.
XOXO
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Hi everyone, I did a car cam update yesterday whilst on my way to meet a friend from The WHLP for lunch. I’d like to say it was a short quick update, but I don’t know what it is with me and my babbling issues, once I start talking about my hair, I just can’t shut up. LOL. I find that the car is the easiest place to give updates, because I’m usually stuck in traffic doing nothing 🙂 Last Thursday I made a trip to Follea, and found myself a new beauty to bring home. She deserves a post dedicated to all her loveliness, so this will just be a little preview of my golden princess…. Tatiana. She’s been the star of my week, and all my other girls have been sitting on the bathroom counter darting dirty looks at her as she leaves the room each morning 🙂
In other news, I definitely think I’m going to have my hair stylist gal come over next week to cut more hair away from head. I wanted to do it before, but even more now after I saw the video because you can see my short hair behind my ears at times in the video and it’s more obvious with Tatiana than my other girls because of the stark color contrast. So adios to more of my follicles next week, they have trip to trash can ville in store for them. C’est la vie.
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Hi Everyone.. made a little video the day before yesterday giving a little update on me, including talking about my recent haircut I just got. Yes it is true, I got my hair cut short. Like… short short. Like… I’m committed to not wearing a ponytail, short. Like…goodbye dry thin crappy hair, au revoir, don’t let the hair brush yank ya on the way out, short. 🙂
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Lina has sent me this post to share with all of you about her custom wig purchasing experience. Lina’s other posts: “After All Life Sentence in Canada Is Only 25 Years” and “Newbie Wig Washer.”
My hair loss journey has me committed to wearing a wig at this point. I decided that I need to have more than one wig, I can’t even imagine the panic I would endure if anything happened to my one and only – so this past Saturday I had an appointment to order a custom piece and wanted to share my experience with you.
I went back to the place I’ve always gone, they provided me with the wig I have now and the two postiches (toppers) that I own. My wig is a lovely human hair wig but it is processed and I wanted to inquire about a virgin human hair wig since Y raves about hers and we all know how lovely and realistic hers are! Two of my biggest dilemmas were: 1) showing Michael and his staff at Continental Hair my shaved head and 2: the cost. I decided that as far as the cost, I need a second wig for my peace of mind, so I would put the wig on my credit card.
So Friday night before my apt. I washed Eva (that’s what I named her), I waxed my upper lip and eyebrows – yeah, I get the irony. You think I was going on a date, but nonetheless Eva and I had to look our best. Eva was drying on her head in the bathroom when my mom called saying her and my dad were coming over for a few minutes – shit! Wig is wet and how would I cover my head – I didn’t want dad to see. I was just about to put on a buff and then decided – what the heck, let me test drive showing my head , so they come over. Dad starts smiling and then says: “you look like a boy” (what a weiner – that’s dad), then he said: “no, you look healthy and good”, then he hugged me and said he loved me. Quick visit over and I was still standing – yay.
So I go to bed and it went something like: toss, turn, toss, turn, up to pee, time check, back to bed, toss, turn… I even had a dream and I saw Michael, I was bald and saying something like, duh, ummh… You guessed it, zero sleep. I finally get my tired self out of bed in the morning and head to Toronto, half way there I was coming up with excuses on why I was going to call and cancel my apt. so I could turn around and come home. I told myself to calm down and do this, for me. [click to continue…]
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