Lina’s Update:
Hello to my wonderful sisters. I thought I would update you on my hair wearing process. Today marks exactly 5 weeks since I first shaved my head and have worn my wig “full-time”. The few posts that I have made I noticed a lot of struggles out there and I wanted to let you know that I have not abandoned you, on the contrary, you are all on my mind.
So, quick recap: I shaved my head because after 25 years of battling hair loss, I had a “melt down” this summer (hair loss plus a lot of life stuff), I was 3 months after major surgery and boom – a bout of TE set in – well, no hair to lose any more and out came the clippers (I was drinking wine at the time, hmmm). Well didn’t cry when I did it and haven’t yet shed a “hair tear”. Well, that night I was brave, next morning I looked in the mirror and went, hmm – is that what I really look like 🙂
Well, no going back right? I had to wear my “just in case” wig. Maybe God knew I would chicken out and get frustrated and not wear the wig after a day or two and that’s why he gave me the strength to shave my head – this way I had to commit to wearing hair. I will tell you the honest truth in my experience – I was frustrated with the wig, it takes getting used to: used to feeling like you have hair, seeing you with hair, accepting the fact you wear hair (that’s the toughest). So, first few days, wanted to rip it off, couldn’t look in the mirror because it didn’t look like me. How funny is that? I haven’t looked like me in a number of years – hair or expression. I avoided mirrors for the first few days. I finally washed the wig – much better, positioned her properly on my head (made a big difference), got the wigrip that Y suggested (life saver).
So, what else… well, showers are wonderful now, no longer picking hair out of all my orphesus’ and backs of my legs, no more hair all over my pillow, clothes, in my cats water dish, silver ware drawer, dinner plate… no more ridiculous night time ritual, with the waiting for the hair to dry, pick up all the hairs in the dark, comb over, pin and spray and then the thinking about hair loss all day and night! I actually am so much less stressed, it is immeasurable!
I got brave enough to show Y my hair photos and then my shaved head photos – she can tell you, I look like I have more hair with it shaved?! So, was it easy? Nope. I didn’t look like me with the wig, or without. However, if I don’t look in the mirror, I still feel the same Lina that I’ve always been.
Fast forward to week 5. I am actually getting used to seeing the new Lina – with wig and without, my smile is back. I don’t think about hair all day, I look in the mirror and think dam I feel good. I’ve gotten so many compliments. You know, when I decided to wear the wig, even though I wasn’t used to it, I walked around with my head high and “owned it” – I think that is key. I feel better. I feel better! I didn’t give up, the crap gave up on me and now I am finally in control. I am a week away from getting a custom wig made because I now know that is my future, I am a hair wearer and so be it!
It was around a month of wearing the hair that I finally looked like me – they do say it takes 30 days to break a habit, perhaps it also takes 30 days to get used to a habit? I was at a major down time in my life when I came back to this site, and that is when Y started her hair wearing experience, which I followed and still follow religiously. I thank God that she began to wear hair and move forward, because it is because of her that I believe I was able to move forward. I have had those that I care about say that I look so much healthier and happier – like a noticeable difference!
Life is hard, so much harder than hair (and we all know how brutal that is). I am glad I can focus on more living than hiding. Ups and downs, for sure, but I have way more ups these days. So, this is for all of you that feel defeated or stuck. If I can do it, anyone can do it, believe me. Be strong, that is your biggest key. We’ve all had crappy experiences, whether doctors, specialists, wig shops, lotions, potions, promises… Don’t give up. I want us all to have peace and happiness and make lemonade out of lemons.
I will warn you all though: wearing hair has made me fat too 😉 I haven’t been out so much as I have been in the last month (no more hiding or excuses – I always wanted to say “yes” but was embarrassed about how I look – no more!
Now, on to the next battle… dieting 😮
Hugs and strength to you all.
Lina xxoo
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you so much for sharing this. I haven’t reached wig time yet, and it’s incredibly reassuring to have some idea what’s likely to be in store, emotionally, when I do.
Everything you said makes sense to me, empathetically. Of course I can’t really get it until I am there, but this provides a great guide.
Thank you so much.
Oh, Lina. So glad you posted, sweetie! Am also so glad you’re getting used to your “new look”. I’m sure you look amazing!
I am still on the fence about wearing hair. Right now I’m going through a pretty bad shed. I stopped taking the Spiro about two months ago, even though it was working great at controlling the shedding. Why would I do something so STUPID, you ask? Good question!
My dermatologist makes me take a blood test every six months to check my pottasium levels while I’m on it. My husband and I lost our state funded health insurance (Medicaid) until December, and I couldn’t afford the office visit. I wound up going to the ER 6/29 – with tachycardia and anxiety, they said. The doc there put me on a beta blocker in addition to my b/p med, which I now take twice a day. This was right around the time I ran out of the Spiro, and I was nervous about my b/p getting too low by being on all three meds.
Well, long story short – I sent my dermatologist the bloodwork they did from the ER, which all came back ok, including my pottasium. So he okayed another six months. I was on 100 mg, though I swear, I never remembered to take it twice a day like I was supposed to. So, right now I’m taking just the 50 mg, at nite. And am shedding like MAD. Hopefully being back on it for a few weeks, it’ll slow down.
I was on Propecia this entire time, and this confirms my suspicions that it has never helped me. I was on it, solo, for a long time. Still shedding like mad, the only thing that made it stop was the Spiro. Well, now that I went off the Sprio temporarily, it’s obvious that the Propecia didn’t “save” me. So, I’m done with it. I’m wondering if it hasn’t contributed to my depression and anxiety issues. Men have these side effects, and women aren’t even SUPPOSED to take it. So, yeah – I’m sticking with the Spiro.
As for wearing hair, I’ve been thinking about it more and more. I keep “maybe if I’ing” myself. Maybe if I go back on the Spiro, use the Rogaine more faithfully, start using Nioxin again…I’m sure you know the drill. I’m going to give it six months – that’ll put me right around my 40th birthday. Then I’ll make a decision. Right now, I can still pull off looking passable, if I use the Toppik. Wearing hair is a huge decision, and though I’m leaning towards it, I’m to chicken to make the leap….YET. I can feel it coming. I’d obviously love to hang onto my bio hair as long as possible, but at some point, I’ll have to do it. Just not yet.
So many ((((HUGS))) to you Lina, for being brave enough to share your story. It’s you, Y, and all the other amazing women here who I firmly believe will eventually give me the balls to make the hair wearing leap.
Do the people in your life know you’re wearing a wig? Have you made any “announcement”, per sae? If so, how did that go?
Thank You
Has anyone ever heard of or tried the Lucinda Ellery intralace system? I think they originated out of the UK but are also in LA area.
Helen,
I wish you all the best in your hair journey.
This is a super site for information and understanding.
Welcome
My dearest Angie,
I am so sorry to hear you are going through a bad shed and to hear of your health problems. That anxiety, tachycardia is not very pleasant – at all. The things we will do and risk, to keep our hair! Toss that propecia out!
I can relate exactly to your if I’ing – oh so well. My brave: “this is the year I will finally get a handle on my hair situation” – was supposed to happen some years ago. I only forced myself by shaving my head. I had had enough and my last break down and TE broke my back.
It is odd to me to hear someone refer to me as brave. If you could only see all the times I was dropped to my knees… I’m only sharing here because of how alone and desperate I was and I don’t like thinking of anyone else feeling the same way. If I help or ease any one person then I feel I must.
Hair wearing is also a journey, just like the hair loss. I would like to clarify that it isn’t just hair loss for me, it’s loss of self-esteem, loss of confidence, loss of self-worth, loss of living, loss of laughter, loss of me…
I want you all to know that this morning I awoke and saw my non-wig self in the morning and I felt like someone kicked me in the gut. I began to wonder if I did and am doing the right thing, so I went to look at my pre-shaved head (I am oddly glad I took those photos) and that – “I want to vomit” feeling came back. I then undressed and went in the shower and remembered what hell they used to be – I know I am where I need to be in my hair loss journey and that is wearing hair. This is a roller coaster, I don’t want to falsely give the impression that I started wearing a wig and everything is groovy and I’m all good. I am much better and now have good days where there were none before.
I have had my arms folded across my chest, stomped my feet and done the “no fair” dance for some time. The reality is I have to accept something I don’t want to accept and that plain sucks, but that is what it is. I see a much better outlook for me and have had a taste of it this past 5 weeks. I so like seeing myself with hair and got used to that part rather quickly. The hair loss is a slow burn – major shed, loss of volume, then the shedding isn’t so bad, there are a few new hairs, maybe it was all a bad dream, maybe it’s turning around and then… another bad shed, loss of volume… How cruel, if you’re gonna go – go already and stop the agony right?!
I hope yours does turn around and that you can hold onto your bio hair as long as you can. Just know that there are some real options out there that can let us control how we look, even though we can’t control losing our hair. Wearing hair has helped me tremendously and I am glad I finally did it – thank you God for giving me the courage.
Do the people in my life know? Well, my hair was pretty, umh, how can I put this without swearing – how about obviously crappy, so something noticeable is different. I called my mom, scared her – it was late and said hi mom, guess what? I shaved my head… (yes I did, just like that).
My mom and one sister are the only ones who have seen my shaved head oh yeah and my cats too 🙂 Funny the night I did it, my one cat Lucy, licked my head in bed as if to say, “it’s ok mommy”. They look at me the same with and without hair (see they love me).
My family has known of my struggles for some time, they know I shaved and am wearing a wig, if I didn’t tell them, my mom did (thanks Mom!). When I saw them for the first time individually, they each hugged me and told me they loved me and made no mention of my hair. Those not so close that feel the need to comment or ask, I casually said, oh yeah, got some extensions and thought I’d try bangs and quickly the conversation changed. I hold my head up high and make eye contact and own it. It’s no one’s business and I feel better, attitude goes a long way.
I think for me I need to accept that this is the new Lina and that I am worthy of love and although life can be hard I am going to be resilient. I need to hold my head high. My family have commented on the noticeable change in me, being lighter and happier – I wasn’t aware how much that projected outward and it is a huge positive. I think we withdraw and focus and become negative and those that love us don’t know what to do to help us, they get frustrated and fed up (in my case any way) and this pushes them away when we need them the most.
Angie, I wish you the very best on your journey and if you ever need to go the hair wearing route, you are not alone. Lean on your husband but dig deep and move on the best you can. Another lovely lady on this site referred to a video on you tube and that is where I go every time I feel like giving up or too overwhelmed, it’s called: “No legs, no arms, no problem”. It reduces me to tears every single time and also inspires.
God Bless you honey, let me know how things are going for you – and Angie’s hair: enough with the shedding, you hear me 🙂
xoxo
Cassy
you are welcome honey. 🙂
Julee,
never heard of that hair, is it a bonded unit or an integrated one. Do you wear it? I love hearing new things, maybe I will google it.
hugs to you xo
Hi
What is spiro please? X
I’m in menopause and my hair is thinning drastically. Can someone please help me.
Hi Jnine,
I am in menopause and shedding like an old english sheepdog myself. I have no thyroid from having cancer when I was in my 20’s, so that also contributes to hair loss. I have spent about $4,000.00 on wigs so far (since 2012) and I am just NOW starting to wear them…..boy am I stubborn! I am wearing a Remy human hair hairpiece at the moment ($1,800.00) it is the coolest and lightest and most realistic of them all. It took me many weeks to get the courage up to walk out the door with it on, but it’s been about a month now and everyone at work knows it’s a hairpiece (not sure why, but I felt the need to tell them, I guess I hated seeing them staring at me when I walked in)